Blogging is new territory for me and writing my first blog has been challenging. I wasn’t sure what to write about as I have so many ideas and info I want to share with you all (I’m an over sharer), but firstly, I think sharing my own ‘mum experience’ will give you an idea about me and that I have experienced some bumpy roads…
So, here’s my ‘Smug Mum’ story and I was smug! Let me tell you! I would be the smuggest Mum getting around now… that is before I fell pregnant with no. 2 and before my very lovable son was born…
I have major mothers guilt even writing this as what is fabulous now was not fabulous back then. Even when I fell pregnant. Think throwing up ALL day, teary, sore boobs, sleepless nights, can you relate? I can reflect on it now and can see that this pregnancy has helped shape me into being a MUCH better Midwife.
So, baby number 1, Polly.
I swanned around with my big belly and people gushed all over me and I loved every minute of it.
I had a few weeks of mild nausea initially which passed and towards the end of my first pregnancy, experienced some sleepless nights which might have been more from my 20 kg weight gain, yep, impressive! My husband likened my body movements in bed at night to a ships keel moving.
Baby number 2 , Theo.
I did not glow.
I did not swan around.
I was a greeny grey and threw up on average 3 to 4 times a day. I lost weight and people would look at me and say “how are you?”, “are you okay?”, “you don’t look well”. All with a tone that to me meant “you look AWFUL”. I was so unwell and felt flat. My mood was low and I was so tired. I felt like I was doing a poor job at everything, like a part time wife, part time mother and a part time employee as my constant nausea overtook me.
I had two very different birth experiences as well. In fact, Theo’s birth was beautiful. I can honestly say I enjoyed my birth experience with him. It was such magic. I will blog about their births another day.
So after my bubs were born;
Baby number 1, Polly.
Slept like an angel.
Fed like an angel. Simple. I found it hard to relate to Mums who were struggling with feeding and settling. I am sensitive enough to know that there were Mum’s around me that where having a rough time, so I kept how easy I was finding it all to myself.
Baby number 2, Theo.
Never really slept much.
Munched my boobs, when he was 2 months old he developed thrush and so did I. Not just nipple thrush but thrush inside my breast. Have you experienced it? It is SOOOO PAINFUL. My supply was low, his suck was poor, he wouldn’t gain weight. He fed 2 hourly. I was so tired and so sad… you get the picture.
I was in shock at how different it could all be. There was so much mother guilt involved. Now my beautiful boy is almost one. I can’t believe it. We have all survived the first year, we have all survived and for that I am joyous. He is a happy delightful baby boy. He is thriving. The journeys I struggled with I look forward to sharing with you in this blog over time.
What I love, is that my experiences have made me a much better Midwife. I truly understand so many of the common struggles Mothers and Fathers experience in pregnancy and those early days. I have true empathy and compassion and for that I am grateful.
I look forward to sharing my Midwifery and Baby and Child First Aid tips with you and welcoming you to our Birth Beat Community.
Yours no longer smug,